So I ruffled some feathers and now I have people attacking me about what I said about the Today Show and I also have people telling me I have VIP package for here here and here. Go you.  I mean I am not one to rub things in peoples faces, but thats just me.

The Today show was an important day to me because it was one of the few things I have been able to do lately. One of the things I have had to save my energy for.   

So you ask yourself what does she mean about things shes been able to do??

I will tell you what I mean..

I have been sick since January, I got sick right after I had a hysterectomy. Horrible pain and swelling all over my body.  A fancy rash across my face.  Horrible nausea that would not allow me to eat for weeks at a time.   No sleep due to the pain.  Chest pains, infections and list goes on and on. Test after test and low and behold its Lupus (for those of you who like the boy bands it what Howie D. of BSB sister died from).

Lu****mptoms depend on what body organs are affected and how seriously they are affected.

• Fatigue: About 90% of people with lupus have mild to extreme fatigue.⁴ Even mild cases of lupus cause an inability to engage in daily activities and exercise.⁵ Increased fatigue is a classic sign that a symptom flare is about to occur.
• Joint and muscle pain: About 95% of people with lupus have joint pain (arthritis) at some time. About 70% of people with lupus report that joint and muscle pain was their first sign of the disease.⁴ Joints may be red and warm, and may swell. Morning stiffness may also be felt. Lupus arthritis often occurs on both sides of the body at the same time, particularly in the wrists, small joints of the hands, elbows, knees, and ankles.⁶
• Skin problems: Most people with lupus develop skin rashes.⁶ These rashes are often an important clue to the diagnosis. In addition to the butterfly rash over the cheeks and bridge of the nose, other common skin symptoms include skin sores or flaky red spots on the arms, hands, face, neck, or back; mouth or lip sores; and a scaly, red, or purple raised rash on the face, neck, scalp, ears, arms, and chest.
• Sensitivity to light: Exposure to ultraviolet light (such as sunlight or tanning parlors) typically worsens the skin rash and can trigger lupus flares. Sensitivity to light affects more than 50% of those with lupus, with fair-skinned people with lupus tending to be more sensitive.⁴
• Nervous system symptoms: The majority of people with lupus develop nervous system problems, most commonly headaches, depression, or anxiety. Memory loss is less common.
• Heart problems: People with lupus may develop inflammation of the heart sac (pericarditis), which may cause severe, sudden pain in the center of the left side of the chest that may spread to the neck, back, shoulders, or arms.
• Mental health problems: People with lupus may develop problems such as anxiety and depression. Such problems can be caused by lupus, the medications used to trea****, or the stress of coping with chronic illness.
• Fever: About 80% of people with lupus will sometimes have a low-grade fever related to the disease. Over a third of people with lupus report that fever was a first sign of the disease.⁴
• Changes in weight: About 60% of people with lupus lose weight when their disease is active (flaring).⁴
• Hair loss: Up to 50% of people with lupus experience periods of hair loss, either in patches or spread evenly over the head. This hair loss is usually not permanent.⁶
• Swollen glands: Up to 50% of people with lupus eventually develop swollen lymph glands during a flare.⁴
• Raynaud's phenomenon: This condition is present in about 20% of people with lupus.⁷ It affects the small vessels that supply blood to the skin and the soft tissues under the skin of the fingers and toes, causing them to turn white and/or blue or red. The skin affected will feel numb, tingly, and cold to the touch.
• Inflammation of blood vessels in the skin (cutaneous vasculitis): Inflammation or bleeding from the blood vessels can lead to small or large blue spots or small reddish spots on the skin or nail beds.

 And on top of all of that I also find out I have Ehlers Danlos, Fibromyalgia and Spondylitis.  Most of my days are spent in bed or in pain.  So when I went to the TODAY show I got there at 1am and stood in the 40 degree rain for 8 hours, I was so sick and cold I could not breathe and I had chest pains and my arms turned blue and started bruising.  SO the Today Sow was that important to me.  Seeing them was that important.  I made myself sicker because I stayed in the rain.    I was the idiot in the soaking wet jacket singing hey hey i feel alright.  That was me : )

THAT is why I asked everyone about the Today Show, not so I could be attacked or have it thrown in my face that you bought VIP for all these shows.  I do not doubt that you are fans, not for one second and I never said I did. 

SO you have to ask yourself at the end of the day are you a bigger fan do you own more stuff than me, do you have more tickets to more events.... thats all fine and good, but I really sucked up every ounce of energy and health I had left to stand in that line for that important day for the boys.  I had no voice for a week after.  That to me is a fan.

So meeting them would mean alot to me because lately I have been having a pretty bad year so far.  I told myself I would not use my illness in my video and I did not but now that I am having things thrown in my face I felt like I had to do it.  So I hope you SUPER fan feel super about yourself in your VIP seats.